The Thin Line Drawn in Water
by HoodedSpellcaster
Summary: Sai is an artistic high school student who has a pretty bad thing on attractive boys. Suigetsu is someone he wants to get friends with, not to lust after. Could Sai keep himself under control, or will his incipient friendship with Suigetsu fail perfectly? Sai's POV, AU Suigetsu x Sai
1. More than lust

**The Thin Line Drawn in Water**

Summary: Sai is an artistic high school student who has a pretty bad thing on attractive boys. Suigetsu is someone he wants to get friends with, not to lust after. Could Sai keep himself under control, or will his incipient friendship with Suigetsu fail perfectly? (Sai's POV)

Pairing: mainly Suigetsu x Sai, some others included

Rating: T, might change to M

Warnings: Yaoi/shonen-ai, OOCness, AU, grammatical errors, non-explicit stuff, some minor things like alcohol etc.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden so the characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. This story is mine, though.

**A/N**: Written to compensate the lack of this pairing. Y U PEOPLE NO WRITE SUISAI-FICS?!

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Chapter 1. More than lust

I'm Sai Shimura. I'm sure that's not my real name but that's how they called me when I was little. I don't really know where I came from. In my earliest memories I was already living in an orphanage. It was called "Root's Home for Boys", owned by an old man called Danzo Shimura. He wasn't the best man to call a father. We had strict routines and we get punishments from every little mistakes we made. The rules were everything. I didn't call the children there my siblings, nor the nurses and Danzo my parents. But inside those walls I still met someone I wanted to call a brother. Shin was kind and pure. He knew about the world outside the orphanage and he told me about it when we were alone. Shin protected me from Danzo, who was keeping his eyes on me. They didn't like one another very much. Shin was too independent for Danzo to control. Shin just didn't care very much. Once I was drawing, Shin came to me.

"Hey, Sai. What are you drawing?" he asked, sitting next to me. I hided the picture from him and shook my head. Shin pouted and looked at me, begging. I frowned, handing him my drawing. Shin's victorious smile turned to a confused look. He groaned, looking at the picture from the different angles.

Then he sighed. "I don't get it. What it is?"

I gave him a slight smile. "I don't know", I had to admit. "I just drew it when Danzo was yelling to Fu and Torune again. I don't even like this. Maybe I should give it to him…"

Shin grinned. "You know, Sai. You should draw pictures of things and persons you like. It would suit you better than drawing something that only comes to your mind while thinking that old coot." He mimicked Danzo, making me hold back my laughter.

"I guess you're right", I said, still giggling. "From now on, I'll draw only drawings I really want to show you!"

"It's a promise, then", Shin laughed, ruffling my short raven hair. "And when you someday make an exhibition of your favorite drawings, I'll be sure I'll be there."

Shin really adored my drawings, and I adored his happy smile. He was my family for three years, and all that time we dreamt about our future and how when were old enough we'll move away from Konoha and went to college together somewhere else. But he died before we could. I broke. When he was gone, Root was all I had. When I was sixteen, Danzo decided to send me to a public high school. Besides Shin I never had many friends in the orphanage, nor did I have after I get out from it, though. At the high school I barely get any people to hang with. They were better than nothing and I didn't felt so lonely. But I fought a lot with them. Perhaps the fact I had a thing on pretty boys was a problem to them. Or my personality was. Probably both were. Teachers moved me from one class to another, because I just didn't integrate in any of teams within them. At last one teacher, Yamato, took me in his team after one of the original team members had changed schools. I faked smiles because I hadn't reason to smile truly. It was weird for me to interact with them. I tried but they didn't understand my friendliness at first. It took from us almost a week to get known each others, almost a month to respect one another and a full course to gain trust from another. They weren't actually bad persons, and I finally started to consider them as my friends.

One of my teammates was called Naruto Uzumaki, the cheerful and childish, maybe even a bit stupid boy with whisker marks on his cheeks. We sat at our usual spot in the class, next to the windows, eating our lunches and waiting for our other teammate, Sakura Haruno, the pinkette with great physical strength. She was also Naruto's "almost" girlfriend. Their love drama was a bit too complicated for me but I knew it had something to do with certain Sasuke Uchiha who had been in their class. He had transferred to a boarding-school before I moved in their team. As I said, I didn't get a very warm welcome. I mean, I look a bit like Sasuke so everybody thought we'd be the same but nowadays both, Naruto and Sakura, keep reminding me how our personalities differ so much. But it was clear that both of them liked, _loved_, him very much. It was hard for me to understand. I had never loved anyone unlike they had. Shin had been special to me but hadn't been love. I hardly even knew what love was. Lust instead was something I understood. Lusting over something or _someone _seemed more normal than loving. To put it simple, I didn't do relationships so it actually didn't matter was Naruto with Sakura, or Sakura with Sasuke. Or Naruto with Sasuke.

Naruto had got a text message from Sasuke few days ago, saying that he wants to see us on Friday, and by us meaning Sakura and Naruto, and he told he'll take some his friends from school with him. Naruto was immediately taking me with them but I hesitated, almost denied his invitation. He asked me to think about it and tell him if I change my mind. I had already finished my lunch so I decided to bring Sasuke up. The day when he wanted to meet them was today, after all.

"You have met Sasuke's friends earlier, right?" I asked from Naruto, uneasily. The blonde looked at me a bit surprisedly, interrupting his lunch for answering.

"Yeah", he replied simply. "Why do you ask?"

"You know I'm not good at making friends", I reminded him, turning my eyes to the floor. "I was just wondering what kind of people they are?"

"Redhead bitch, shark dude and giant", Naruto spat, finishing his bowl of instant noodles. "But don't worry. If Sasuke approves them I see no problem there. You'll get along well."

I was kinda skeptical so I just nodded. _You'll get along well. _As if.

You see, I had met that famous Sasuke Uchiha only once before, and he hadn't left very first impression. It was after the second grade when I had went to pick Naruto up from a house party at Orochimaru's place. But that place was like a maze and instead of finding Naruto, I run into Sasuke. At then I didn't knew who he actually was but it was sure he wasn't in the best possible condition. He was wearing white shirt which revealed his abs and chest and blue pants from the last evening and his black hair was like a duck's butt. And he couldn't even stand upright! I wrinkled my nose. He smelled like cheap alcohol and sweat. A terrible hangover, I noticed as he frowned in pain and glanced at me. I offered him my help but he denied it by pushing me harshly aside. He raised his hand cover his mouth and hurried to the direction where I thought the bathroom would be. A moment later I found Naruto from the living room. He looked tired. Probably the sofa wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep.

"You seem to have drunk a lot", I noted, looking at the empty bottles all over the room. Naruto nodded, ruffling his hair and yawning.

"But it was totally worth it", he told me. "It was a pity you weren't here with us."

I gave him a smile. It was nice to see he cared but I didn't really like boozing and having fun in that kind of way.

"Get yourself dressed", I said to Naruto, smiling. "Hyo wants his car back as soon as possible."

Naruto pouted, pulling on his t-shirt. "I need to use the bathroom", he whined when finished.

"I don't recommend it", I stated. "Some guy with duck-butt hair and revealing clothes is probably using it at the moment."

"It must be Sasuke, then", Naruto mumbled. Then his eyes widened and he touched immediately his neck. He looked at me embarrassedly and whispered. "Did he leave a bruise…?"

I took a look of his neck and grinned. "I guess it was worth it, eh?"

Remembering Naruto's face when I told him Sasuke had left actually half dozen hickeys on his neck made me smile widely.

"Well, that's a rare sight!" the pinkette noted while walking to us. She was clearly meaning my smile. "Did Naruto say something stupid again?"

I shook my head. "No, I just remembered something funny."

Sakura shrugged. I hadn't told her about Naruto and Sasuke's little time together so she just gave me a look. "Oh, before I forget, Sai, are you coming with us to see Sasuke after school?" she asked.

"Of course he's coming!" Naruto told her, grinning. He had finally finished his lunch. Sakura slapped the back of Naruto's head.

"I didn't ask it from you, idiot!" she yelled. Naruto held his head. He looked to be in great pain. No wonder why Sakura was a part of schools boxing team. But I think Naruto had become immune to her strength. An average guy could have got a brain damage.

"Sakura, calm down. I'm coming", I told her while she was shaking Naruto to death.

The pinkette gave me a wide smile. "Really?"

I nodded. "It can't be so bad." Maybe I could even make couple new friends.

Our meeting spot was a small café in the center of the town, within walking distance from the metro station. Sasuke has chosen it and Naruto and Sakura had instantly accepted to go there. Sasuke and his friends hadn't arrived yet. As I knew he lived on the other side of town so it wasn't surprise that we were at the café before them. We took a table from a corner and waited. Sakura sat between me and Naruto. I was a bit nervous but I didn't let it bother. _Just act natural_, I told myself and took a deep breath. I heard door opening and the atmosphere changed. Three teenagers approached us. I recognized Sasuke Uchiha among them, he walked ahead and two others followed him. Unlike us, he and his gang didn't wear school uniform. Sasuke himself wore white opened dress shirt, blue jeans and typical men's shoes. And his hair looked still like a duck's butt.

"Naruto, Sakura dear", Sasuke greeted, giving us almost a warm smile. Sakura blushed deeply, and the girl next to Sasuke made a disapproving sound. The girl had long red hair and magenta eyes, not forgetting her eyeglasses. She was wearing very short black shorts, sandals and lavender colored long-sleeved shirt. Naruto and Sakura changed greetings with Sasuke very intimately until the girl took Sasuke's hand, gaining his attention.

"Well, Sasuke _dear_", she hissed. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Sasuke smirked. "You sound a little jealous, Karin", he said, turning to us. "This is…"

"Karin Uzumaki", the girl told, finishing the sentence. "Nice to meet you."

Naruto looked choked. "U-Uzumaki?!" he repeated. He had been sure that he was the only member of Uzumaki family in Konoha. The girl called Karin smirked. Actually she somehow reminded me a bit of Naruto. Perhaps because neither of them didn't really have anything worth of mentioning in their pants.

"I'm Jugo", the other of Sasuke's friends told shyly, ignoring Naruto who stared now at Karin his mouth wide open. His red eyes avoided contact. He was taller than Sasuke, wearing gray hoodie, bluish jeans and old sneakers. His hair was messy and orange colored. Naruto was still in shock when Sakura decided that she will introduce me to them. She smiled. Everything had gone well.

"Sasuke, I want to introduce to you our friend Sai Shi…"

"Sasuke! How dared you?!"

Everybody at the café, including myself, turned eyes to the speaker. That voice gave me vibes. Karin giggled as Sasuke frowned. The white haired teenager marched peevedly towards Sasuke.

"I thought we left you to the station", Sasuke sighed when the whitette glared him straight to the eyes. I stared at them. Mostly at the guy next to Sasuke. He was pretty good looking in my eyes. And actually he reminded me a bit of my brother.

"That's what you did!" the whitette yelled to Sasuke. "Dammit!"

"Well, we didn't want you to come with us, Suigetsu", Karin hummed. "Isn't that right?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, Jugo instead looked sorry, Karin raised her glasses and grinned.

"Whatever", the whitette spat, getting ready to leave. "But I'm going, you know. I just came here to yell you."

I did have no idea why I stood up then. I just did and my heart skipped a beat. Sakura turned to me, Naruto turned to me, Sasuke and his friends turned to me. And I gave them a confident smile.

"I'm Sai Shimura. Nice to meet you all. Would you all sit down with us?"

Sakura blinked couple times before smiling widely, Naruto grinned. They both glanced at Sasuke.

"Sure", he said. "I didn't come here for nothing. Get your ass back there, Suigetsu. We're not leaving yet."

Sasuke and his friends sat on the other side of the table. In front of me sat that whitette. Sasuke, Karin and Juugo were having a nice conversation with Naruto and Sakura, well, Jugo just listened them, smiling once in a while. Suigetsu instead was sulking. He had ordered a portion of vanilla flavored ice cream and he was eating it, glaring annoyedly at his friends. I took a closer look of him. He was wearing a purple top and black jeans, and pair of new sneakers. He had a slender, yet muscular body, and his short bluish white hair almost reached his shoulders. His purple eyes were always glowing like amethysts.

"Are you staring at me?" he asked all suddenly, pointing at me with the spoon.

"No", I blurted out, making him raise an eyebrow. I shook my head. "I mean, yes. I'm sorry I just didn't catch your name"

"It's because I didn't tell it", he told, his lips twirling into an adorable grin. It revealed his two rows of white shark teeth. "It's Hozuki. Suigetsu Hozuki. And you're Sai, right?"

I nodded, making his grin even wider. He smiled for a moment before talking again.

"Are you going to eat that?"

I blinked, very startled, taking a quick look of the piece of lemon cheesecake I had ordered. I had actually eaten one spoonful of it but except that the cake was untouchable. "No."

Suigetsu leaned on his hands. "May I get it?"

I pushed the plate to him willingly. "Sure."

Friends do share stuff, that's what Naruto always told me while stealing meatballs from my lunch. Maybe I was getting friends with Suigetsu. Friends like Naruto and Sasuke. That kind of friends. I pulled that thought back, getting a glimpse of Naruto and Sasuke chatting with the girl members of our teams. I licked my lips, sharing the cake would be almost an indirect kiss. Jugo, who was sitting between Suigetsu and Sasuke, gave a disapproving look to the whitette.

"You already ate your ice cream", he mumbled. "If you wanted more you could have bought instead of..."

"Quit nagging", Suigetsu snarled, cutting off Jugo's sentence. "I asked nicely."

"That's not the point, Suigetsu. Perhaps he was just being polite even though he wanted to eat it by himself", Jugo told him. Suigetsu looked at me a bit guiltily, then at the cheesecake, then back to me again, and I had no idea how to react. He was almost ready to push it back to me.

"No, it was okay", I told quickly, hiding the way I was looking at him earlier. I clenched my fists under the table. _No, do not turn-on right now_, I said to myself as he tilted his head innocently. "I don't even like cheesecake."

He gave me another amazingly sweet, teeth revealing grin. My thoughts had started to wander again. I wanted him to _bite_ me. I wanted to feel his _shark teeth _on _my neck_.

I was now feeling definitely too hot. Things like that _had_ happened to me before. Rarely, but yet so often. But this was worse, I needed to get away.

"Hey, are you alright?" Suigetsu asked. "You're kinda red."

"I have to go."

Suigetsu made a confused face. As I stood up and grabbed my schoolbag I heard Sakura asking where I'm going. I gave her a slightly nervous smile but didn't answer. I just left, feeling my face becoming red. I didn't get far, only couple blocks and then to the back alley, until it got too hard to breath evenly. I stopped, panting. My hands went on my too tight school pants. How could I ever become friends with him if I can't even control my urge to be more?

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**A/N**: Yeah, that's the first chapter. I do appreciate constructive criticism.


	2. Looking hot, dangerous

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. But I do own one badass Hidan-plushie. =u=

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Chapter 2. Looking hot, dangerous

I was grateful yesterday was Friday. Sakura and Naruto had sent me messages all night, and I hadn't replied to any of them. They had wondered why I had left so suddenly. They were worried. I lay on my bed, staring at the crack on the ceiling. I hadn't slept well, if at all, and being alone at home didn't actually cheer me up. I glanced at the clock. It was half ten in the morning. As a matter of fact, I'm a morning person, so staying at home doing nothing was almost frustrating. Going out sounded a much better idea than staying inside four walls. I got out after breakfast and cold shower, and ended up sitting on a pier, looking at the lake, and sketching. The sun was shining brightly and there were not a single cloud in the sky. In my opinion there was a bit too chilly to swim, though. It could have been a great morning. There are always people on the lake, mostly children with their parents. It doesn't really bother me as long as they don't disturb me while I'm drawing. Shin called me an artist, yet, I'm not. I was all out of inspiration at the moment.

And then it happened.

"Come on, queers! You're acting like pussies!"

"Oh, shut up, Tayuya!"

A group of teenagers I hadn't seen before came to the beach. They were noisy but they seemed to have fun, and with no second thoughts most of them just left their stuff and run laughing to the cold water. There were five of them, four went playing in the water, and one was left to watch over their bags and clothes. I recognized only one of them to be a girl so she had to be the one they called Tayuya. She had long brownish red hair and tomboyish style. I automatically considered her as their leader because of her habit to speak to the others. The rest of them were most probably guys. One had more tanned skin than the others and his dark curly hair was tied in a high ponytail. Then there were silverette twins, both wearing lipstick. But they were clearly boys so I supposed the make-up was just a part of their style. The tanned one run back to the beach and talked only a brief moment with the one they had left there to guard for their stuff, and returned then to the others. They became seemingly happy, apparently he had told them something nice. I felt like creepy stalker so I packed up my sketchbook and got ready to leave.

I walked past the one of them who was sitting alone on the beach. He was pale, not as pale as I am, and petite boy with shoulder-length white hair. He also had red make-up under his eyes and two red dots painted on his forehead. He was talking to the phone and I accidently heard what he said.

"What you mean you're going to be late?" he asked, sounding a bit disappointed. There was a brief pause. "Okay, okay. Just told Suigetsu to stop being an idiot."

I startled. _It could be any Suigetsu_, I told myself. I hesitated for a moment, biting my lower lip before turning back and walking to the kid. I stood there, pondering what to say. _Be a man and_ _grow yourself a backbone! _my inner self yelled to me.

"Um, excuse me?"

The boy looked at me, a bit surprised I talked to him. "Can I help you?" he asked.

"Well, I'm actually sorry to bother you", I started, feeling a little nervous for approaching someone I don't know. That's why I usually hang out with Naruto.

"I don't mind company, really", he said, patting the sand. "Sit down."

I gave him a smile and next to him.

"My name's Kimimaro", the whitette introduced himself.

"I'm Sai", I replied.

Kimimaro grinned. "Did you actually have something to ask or…?"

"I just saw you're alone", I lied.

"Yeah, kinda", Kimimaro agreed with a smirk, pointing at the lake. "Those four twerps right there are with me, though. I feel like a baby-sitter. And just to mention two of us missed their tram."

He chuckled as he told that. It was nice to chat with Kimimaro. He told me easily about his friends, twerps as he calls them. I had been right about the girl's name, Tayuya. The twins instead were called Sakon and Ukon, and the tanned boy was Kidomaru. They used to be a band together, The Sound Five, until their friend got arrested from buying anabolic steroids. I didn't get why they called themselves The Sound Five if there was six members in the band.

"Sakon used to be our lead-singer", Kimimaro said, grinning. "But then he hit puberty and got his voice break."

"I thought Tayuya was the singer", I noted, a bit surprised.

"She was our keyboardist", the whitette told. "Her singing voice is horrible but she's pretty cool with her flute."

"With a flute?"

"She plays flute and keyboard", Kimimaro corrected. "What about you?"

"Oh, no. I'm not musical", I stated simply. "I'm more an artistic nature."

I took my sketchbook from my back, giving it to Kimimaro. He seemed actually interested, riffling the pages eyes wide open.

"These are amazing", he said with a pleased sigh and gave my book back to me, smiling. "Do you make portraits, too?"

"Sometimes", I hummed. "I could draw something to you."

Kimimaro smiled widely. "Really? Could you…?"

"What did I say, Jugs? If you're not with him all the time he'll get someone else to be with."

I glanced immediately over my shoulder. Suigetsu and Juugo stood behind our backs. How long had they been there? _Long enough probably_. Suigetsu grinned as Jugo frowned.

"But I guess you don't have to get all overprotective", Suigetsu continued in a teasing manner, touching my shoulder while smirking to Kimimaro. "I guess Sai didn't do anything."

His touch made me shiver. I didn't want to get in this situation but I didn't want to get away from it, either. I must be some kind of a masochist.

"You, Suigetsu, are an idiot. And you know it", Kimimaro noted, ashamed. "How do you even know each other?"

* * *

It didn't take long to tell to Kimimaro about how we had met just yesterday. I wanted to flee everytime they talked to me. And on the other hand I wanted to stay close to Suigetsu. Tayuya, Kidomaru and the twins had joined us but they left soon, saying they won't want to miss their bus. I got to know they didn't live in Konoha, but in Oto, one of the neighbor cities. Kimimaro said living there too, but staying at Jugo's place for weekend. They looked one another when they thought no-one notices. It explained a lot so it didn't surprise me when Kimimaro asked could he go to buy something for lunch with Jugo. They left me alone with Suigetsu. And the atmosphere turned awkward for me. I just stared blankly at the lake.

"Hey, Sai?"

I startled when Suigetsu said my name. "Yes…?"

"Why did you leave so early yesterday?" he asked. "If it was because of us then tell me and I…"

"I just didn't feel well", I told him quickly. _What a lie._

"Well, it's good you're okay now." He sounded relieved. I knew I was skilled in lying but it was painful to watch him giving me that grin of his again while he believed what I said. He kept on smiling, and making me want him so badly. His whole being just attracted me like no-one else. _No, not again_, I pleaded. Everything went fine if I didn't have to think about Suigetsu, nor see him. And now I had to do both at the same time. I didn't anticipate I'll have to see him today when I left my apartment but I should have known it when I started to talk with Kimimaro. Somebody just hit me in the face.

"I mean you're a nice guy", Suigetsu continued, grinning relievedly, and making my heart to want jump out of my chest to top it all. "It would be nice to hang out with you."

"You think I'm nice just because I gave you my cheesecake?" _What a wisely said, you dummass!_

Suigetsu looked confused. "No. You just seem better company than the guys I usually hang out with. Sasuke and Karin just dump me whenever they have a chance on it. And Jugo likes the company of Kimimaro more than mine, even though he doesn't admit it."

There was a moment of silence.

"So you want to be… friends with me?" I mumbled, unbelieving.

"Yeah, I do." He show another adorable grin which disappeared as quickly as I turned my eyes away from him. "Or don't you want to?"

Of course I wanted. I wanted to be his friend as much I wanted _him_, or even more.

"I do want to", I told him with a little smile, hoping I won't regret this later but as he pulled me to a tight, friendly hug I was sure I won't. He was close to me, his hair brushed my cheek. His scent was so intoxicating.

"That's good to hear", he said happily, in my ears his voice sounded almost seductive. I wanted to stay like that and never let go. He was much warmer than I thought him to be.

* * *

"Sorry to interrupt your little moment", Kimimaro chuckled, making Suigetsu let go of me immediately. Jugo stood next to the green-eyed whitette, holding two paper bags. Suigetsu seemed to scowl a little when Kimimaro looked at him.

"You should learn to stop keeping your phone on silent", Kimimaro nagged brotherly, tossing his phone to Suigetsu. "It's Sasuke."

"What does he want?" Suigetsu asked rather rudely, making Kimimaro shrug in response, before Suigetsu actually answered the phone. "Hello…?"

I didn't hear what Sasuke said, just what Suigetsu replied.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that."

"I know but you should…"

"Wait! No! I just…! Don't get Karin involved in this! It happened long time ago!"

There was a longer moment of silence.

"You don't dare!" Suigetsu cried out, rather annoyed. "It's you who always messes around!"

"No, you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"This conversation is over." Suigetsu hung up without giving Sasuke a chance to say anything more and gave the phone back to Kimimaro.

"Well, that went fine", Kimimaro noted. He and Jugo had sat down while Suigetsu had had his conversation with Sasuke. I wouldn't have said it went 'fine' but I didn't know Sasuke, or Suigetsu, so well that I could tell what was 'fine' for them. I couldn't even say did they just have a fight or not. I didn't talk with Naruto like that.

"All that yelling made me hungry", Suigetsu yawned. "Did you guys buy anything to me?"

Kimimaro gave him a smirk. "If that means 'I'm broke again, give me something to eat' then the answer is no."

"Oh come on!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Jugo ignored them, giving me a 'don't-worry-this-happens-often'-look, and handed me a hamburger. Seriusly, I didn't see them as people who ate fast food. They all looked like models or something.

I took the burger, hesitating. "How much I owe you?"

"Nothing. Just eat it", he said, glancing then at the quibbling whitettes. "Kimimaro, just give him his happy meal."

There wasn't really a happy meal for Suigetsu, just a regular meal with two milkshakes. I had noticed he drinks a lot. Even when we had me at the café he had had a water bottle with him. Having lunch with the trio was actually fun. Especially Suigetsu and Kimimaro were relaxed; they were taunting one another in every possible way and laughing most of the time. Jugo instead was a bit charier. It seemed to be part of his personality, though. The loud, beeping noise interrupted us. It was Kimimaro's phone.

"It's from Sakon", Kimimaro told, while reading the message.

"What does he say?" Suigetsu asked, becoming suddenly very curious.

"Asks us to come over tonight."

"To their place?" Suigetsu noted, smiling hopefully.

"To Orochimaru's."

Suigetsu's smile disappeared and Jugo twitched, almost shocked. "They're having a party there…?"

"I guess so", Kimimaro said, sounding a little regretful. "But you don't have to go. It hasn't been long since the last time you saw him."

"Sasuke probably wants us there", Suigetsu sighed. Jugo agreed with a nod. I was confused of sudden change in the atmosphere. After mentioning Orochimaru they went all uneasy.

"And if he's being himself he asks Naruto to come, like always", Suigetsu continued, annoyed. "No offence, Sai. Naruto and I just don't get along so well."

"He's a bit peculiar, I know", I admitted, with a slight smile. We just sat there, thinking what to say next. I felt a bit outsider. I barely knew who Orochimaru was and my meetings with Sasuke were limited to two.

"But if Sasuke invites Naruto, couldn't I invite Sai as well?" Suigetsu asked from Kimimaro like knowing what I had just thought.

The other whitette blinked at his sudden question, instantaneously starting to write a text. "I could ask from Sakon."

"Don't mention me to him. We're not that close", Suigetsu laughed.

"I don't know should I come", I mumbled, getting a bit panicky.

Suigetsu looked me into eyes. "Don't you want to come with us?"

Did you think I could say no when he looks at me like a lost puppy?

* * *

The first problem – how to get to Orochimaru's place when you don't own a car, nor a motorcycle. I don't own even a regular bike.

"I guess I have to", I mumbled, taking my phone from my nightstand. The first beep. The second. The third…

"What do you want?" _Jackpot_.

"Nice to hear your voice, too", I hummed. "I need your help, Hyo."

"Why I'm not surprised", Hyo mumbled back in a taunting tone. "Enlighten me."

"I need your car."

There was a silence. "You already know what I'm going to answer."

"I promise not to cart anyone", I pledged. "Please."

Minutes later Hyo told me I could take his car, like he does everytime. He was reluctant like always because it was about his precious. It's the apple of his eye and the last time he had lent it to me Naruto and Kiba had decorated a new look to it. It was the worst New Year's party ever. I promised to keep it clean this time.

I also talked with both, Naruto and Sakura, and apologized that I hadn't answered their calls and messages. Sakura was actually happy when she heard I was okay, and she became even happier when I told I'm going out with Suigetsu, Jugo and Kimimaro.

"That sounds fun", she chuckled. "Maybe I should go out, too?"

"With Ino, perhaps?" I asked her. That was a mistake.

She laughed in response, uncomfortably. "No. I would like to go out with Sasuke but he doesn't answer me."

I didn't mention that Sasuke was most likely going Orochimaru's place, with Naruto to be exact.

"Maybe he's just busy", I comforted her, hoping I didn't sound too contrived. I wasn't interested in getting involved in their love drama.

"I hope you're right", she mumbled.

"And don't trouble yourself too much because of him."

"Don't worry about me, Sai", Sakura said, sounding almost pleased of gaining my understanding behind her laughter. "Have fun, and try to stop sounding like my father."

I smiled. "I'll try."

After having the conversation with Sakura on the phone I faced another problem. "I have_ nothing _to wear", I whined with a sigh. Of course my wardrobe was chockfull, that wasn't the point. I wanted to look _good_, or at least good enough.

"It's not date", I said out loud, just to reassure myself. "It's just a regular party with friends." I bit my lip. I should have asked how 'official event' this party will be. What if I dress too fancily or too plainly? I took a look of the contents of my closet. The pink hoodie with a text 'this is my gay hoodie' I got from Naruto last Christmas was out of question in any case.

"These will do", I mumbled finally, grabbing a short black shirt with different length sleeves and black jeans. Black is always good.

* * *

I parked Hyo's precious Porsche aside Orochimaru's mansion, far enough away from other cars. I didn't want anyone to crash with it. I looked around the yard, just to feel more than a bit lost. I didn't see Suigetsu or Kimimaro, or even Jugo, and he's taller than average people so supposed I would be able to spot at least him. There were plenty of people I had never seen before. They were apparently from neighbour cities like Oto. I wandered aimlessy until I felt someone suddenly touch my back. I startled.

"Oh, did I scare you? Sorry", the guy with round eyeglasses and ash-gray hair in ponytail said, laughing. "I'm Kabuto. Are you looking for someone? I could help."

I glanced at him. "Has Kimimaro come here yet?"

Kabuto blinked, surprised. Suigetsu had told me to say Kimimaro's name instead of his or Jugo's if anyone asks anything. I had no idea why but whatever his reason was it had to be important.

"So you're with Kaguya", he hummed finally with a nod. "Last time I checked he was at the main hall. It's funny that _he_ had asked someone to come. I guess I didn't know him after all."

I thanked Kabuto and walked away. Above all he seemed somehow suspicious behind his kind and nerdy look. Kimimaro was sitting at the hall with the other one of the twins I had seen earlier on the beach. He waved to me as walked towards them.

"We thought you chickened", the silverette said to me, smirking. He wore leather jacket and coal black jeans, not to mention his necklace. He made a good contrast to Kimimaro's white outfit – lavender top under a white jean jacket and jeans.

"Sakon thought", Kimimaro corrected. "I knew you'll come."

"What's wrong with your shirt?" Sakon asked, pointing at my revealed midriff. Kimimaro chuckled.

"Where's Suigetsu?" I asked bluntly, mentally slapping myself. I couldn't just suddenly ask that. Sakon laughed dryly, and his tone couldn't have changed just because I had ignored his comment about my attire.

"He's talking with Orochimaru. That's what you get for messing with knives", he told, gaining a death glare from Kimimaro.

"You talk too much", the whitette hissed. "I believe Tayuya is already waiting for you."

"Knives? What are you talking about?" I asked.

Sakon stared at me eyes wide open. Then he glanced at Kimimaro. "Geez, Kimi", Sakon sighed, sounding clearly disappointed. "He didn't know? You asked _him_ to come here with us and he doesn't even know?"

Kimimaro bit his lower lip. "You know it's not a common topic when we introduce ourselves."

He and Sakon were having an awkward staring contest when Suigetsu appeared.

"Hi, guys! Hi, Sai", he greeted and hugged me behind friendly. I felt myself blushing slightly. I didn't see Suigetsu as a very huggy person but I didn't mind being hugged, though. "Orochimaru is pain in the ass but at least I haven't run to Sasuke. Yet", Suigetsu continued. I saw him from the corner of my eye, and I couldn't deny it, he looked good in his sleeveless, purple hoodie and gray jeans. His white hair was tied in a low, messy ponytail. It suited him.

"Why so long faces?" he asked, grinning. He hadn't heard the conversation between Kimimaro and Sakon.

Sakon snorted at his question. "Had fun with _knives_, again?"

"Not in ages", Suigetsu spat back, stepping closer to the silverette, smile disappearing. "You're being more asshole than usual, it's an old case. So what's your problem? Have you given your lunch to Ukon, _skinny_?"

"Suigetsu, Sakon", Kimimaro said, coldly. "Stop that, now."

Sakon glared at the whitettes. "Why? It's not me who didn't tell your little friend we're from a mental hospital."

My jaw fell open. "From a… what?"

* * *

**A/N: **Yes, I still do appreciate constructive criticism. And special thanks to Necrophilia Sloth for leaving a comment. I try to keep the story interesting. =w=


	3. Don't you worry child

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto. It would be a yaoi-manga if I did.

**A/N:** Sorry it had taken so long and this chapter is short... This story is mostly abandoned but I will continue it once in a while. Just be very, very patient.

* * *

Chapter 3. Don't you worry child

Flashback

"Naruto. Why did Sasuke change schools at the first place?"

Naruto had given me a confused stare. I didn't usually talk about Sasuke, I didn't know him. But I wanted to know what kind of person I had replaced couple months ago. There were rumors, not very nice ones. Naruto had been Sasuke's closest friend, and in public he had ignored the meanest gossips simply shrugging. But when he was with Sakura and me, he cursed everyone who spoke ill of his friend. Sasuke hadn't been the nicest guy, I had heard. And he had had both enemies, as well as admirers.

"He had his reasons", Naruto had replied simply. He hadn't apparently wanted to talk about it.

"I heard it had something to do with his brother", I had tried. I had heard teachers talking about it earlier but I wanted to hear it from Naruto. "His brother did something to him, didn't he?"

"I guess so", the blonde had stated.

"And Sasuke had visited the school psychologist Mitarashi regularly, before the decision of moving to different school."

The blonde had pressed his eyes shut, clenching his fist. I had exceeded the limit.

"Sai. Sometimes, if you know that much, it's better to keep as a secret. Sasuke wouldn't like if you rummage his matters like that."

Naruto's words were as gentle as they were chilling. I never raised that topic again.

* * *

"_We're from a mental hospital."_

"_From a… what?"_

I stared blankly at Sakon, before finally catching my breath and glancing at Suigetsu.

"From mental hospital", I repeated, tasting the word. I couldn't believe it. They all were so… so normal. Well, personal but normal nevertheless.

"It's an old thing", Suigetsu growled. There were hints of embarrassment and slight anger in his tone. "I… We…"

"We're well right now", Kimimaro completed the sentence. "That's why we didn't see the reason to tell. We're sorry. We-"

"Stop talking like you're speaking for the all of us", Sakon spat, interrupting Kimimaro. "If everything is so damn fine then why-?"

"Oh shut up!" Suigetsu yelled. He was getting very displeased. "You talk like that just because _you_ haven't got out yet!"

"Neither has Kimimaro! You, Sasuke and Karin are labeled sane in Orochimaru's eyes", Sakon stated. I sensed jealousy in the air. "Even Jugo had classified on the same level as you and we all know he's far from healthy. But you four still have to visit Orochimaru, just to be _sure_."

I saw Kimimaro biting his lower lip, almost on the verge of tears. I didn't know what to say but if I soon wouldn't do something this will end in a fight.

"Um, guys…?"

"What the fuck are you yelling about?!"

Sakon twitched as he heard Tayuya's voice. She stood her arms crossed behind the silverette, wearing short, red cocktail dress and ballerina shoes. She tapped her foot to the floor.

"I've been waiting for you the last fifteen minutes and there you are, fighting!" the pissed redhead continued. "Don't you anything to say, asshole?!"

"I'm sorry", Sakon mumbled, with an embarrassed smile. Tayuya seemed to have a serious advantage on him. "I guess I _overreacted_."

Suigetsu snorted at Sakon's comment. "The hell you overreacted!" he remarked, still pissed off. Tayuya punched him stomach, growling.

"Shut up, only I have right to vex Sakon!" she yelled, but noticing Kimimaro state of mind she calmed herself down. "Now you bastards tell me what's going on."

"I didn't know you're from a mental hospital", I said. It was the truth.

Tayuya grimaced. "Yuck! I hate that word!" she spat, sticking her tongue out. "Who told you that? It was Sakon, was it? Kimimaro wouldn't look like that if it wasn't him."

Sakon frowned. "Yes, I told it", he said, too calmly in my opinion.

Tayuya glared at him, questioningly. "And that's all?"

"Well, I might have mentioned Suigetsu's old habit to play with knives", the silverette admitted, gaining a very disapproving 'don't-you-ever-learn'-look from the redhead. Sakon frowned. "Yeah, I know it was stupid."

"I guess you weren't any better", Tayuya sighed, glancing at Suigetsu who just shrugged as a response.

"They were both inappropriate", Kimimaro stated, his tone turning to more depressed. "But it's not easy to tell, and we all know that. Being labeled as a mental patient doesn't give a very good first impression."

There was an awkward silence. Tayuya fumbled the hem of her dress; even she was now clearly tense. Sakon exchanged annoyed glares with Suigetsu. Kimimaro had told what they all know. As the silence deepened I couldn't help but chuckle. They weren't behaving characteristically at all.

"I don't mind it", I said, gaining asking stares. "Your past. I mean I'm not part of it, nor do I know anything about it, but we all have our stories, whether they are happy or sad. I'm not mad and I don't want you to quarrel either."

"You're fine with this?" Sakon spat, unbelieving.

I nodded. "Yes. But I would like to know you all better, if you want to tell me."

"I guess we owe it to you", Kimimaro stated. Suigetsu wasn't looking as happy as the other whitette and it made me a little doubtful.

* * *

We moved from the main hall to the more private room in upstairs. Jugo had joined us soon after. He had been talking with Orochimaru I heard. Me, Kimimaro and Jugo, sat on the floor, talking. Suigetsu sat on the couch further away, drinking something I thought to be non-alcoholic, or then he just has a good tolerance for alcohol. Sakon and Tayuya offered to get drinks for us but Kimimaro had politely refused to drink anything alcoholic. It was obvious that Jugo wouldn't take a drink either so I refused as well. Sakon had shrugged and said he would get something else for us, then. There was party going on downstairs. Some guy called Genyumaru had taken control and music was clearly over the allowed decibel limit. I was sure Naruto was somewhere there boozing. And tomorrow he'll call me. He'll be probably having a terrible hangover and asks me to give him a ride home. But now I had something else to think about. I had talked with Kimimaro and Jugo mostly about our plans for future. I'd also get to know that Jugo and Kimimaro are both a year older than me when Suigetsu and the others instead are a year younger than me. The thought of this whole mental hospital thing still didn't make sense. If you ask me I have seen much more insane people outside this mansion.

"How did you end up in mental hospital?" I asked Kimimaro, hesitating but curious. I had no idea how he would react if I ask such a question. He seemed to be pretty sensitive about it.

"Me? In my foster parents' opinion I was too difficult to handle. Always dark and moody", Kimimaro said, smiling. "Long story shortly, I guess. Excuse me."

Jugo sighed as Kimimaro left the room. I thought he was just going to downstairs or bathroom but Jugo knew better than I.

"He still needs time", Jugo said, quietly, telling me indirectly that Kimimaro didn't tell everything.

I nodded. "I understand." I remember how it had taken time to tell Naruto and Sakura about my past. I had been afraid that they wouldn't stay with me if I tell. I stared at Jugo, askingly.

"You want to ask why I was there", he noted with a little smile.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize, my reason isn't secret. I was mentally unstable. I think I still am at some level", Jugo told, chuckling lightly. "But thanks to Kimimaro I can live almost normal life. He keeps my head clear."

The way Jugo said Kimimaro's name was compassionate, almost loving. I wanted to hear Suigetsu to use that tone when saying my name. Talking about him, he was still at the couch, listening to our conversation. I immediately remembered talking about him and knives. I stood up. I was ready to ask about it directly from him but then Kimimaro came back with Sakon and Tayuya.

"We're back", Kimimaro hummed, sitting back on the floor.

"You owe me one, Kimi", Sakon snorted as he gave a bottle of ice tea to the smiling whitette. "Getting non-alcoholic drinks costs a lot to me."

Tayuya laughed. "Your debt is never-ending if you continue like that, Kimi!" She had got couple drinks downstairs. "You should take a real drink! Like a man! And you too, Jugs!"

More than couple, actually. She was totally drunk. Kimimaro smiled to her slurred commenting and turned to Sakon.

"Where's Ukon?" he asked. Sakon shrugged.

"Probably somewhere making out with Kidomaru", came the unashamed answer from the couch. Sakon shot his glare on Suigetsu. "You don't dare to say that again."

"Stop that, Sakon. You know it's true", Kimimaro said. "Ukon is probably with Kidomaru."

Sakon frowned, making Tayuya giggle. She automatically moved closer to the silverette, purring like a cat.

"I prefer you anyway", she giggled. I made mental notes of the twins. Sakon seemed to be very close to Tayuya. In other words, they were clearly a couple. Instead Ukon was apparently more into guys, deducing from Sakon's reaction to Suigetsu's comment. And he's with Kidomaru. I thought more about their relationships. Kimimaro and Jugo were together, it had been self-evident from the start. Sasuke flirted with Sakura and Karin, too, but I know he and Naruto have also had fun together. And then there's Suigetsu. And speaking of him…

"Where are you going?"

Suigetsu frowned at Jugo's question. "Downstairs. You don't want to join, I guess."

"Not really", Jugo stated. "Take Sai with you. I guess Sakon and Tayuya are soon moving to their next base."

I looked at the whitette, giving him a slight, asking smile. That was my chance to talk with him more private. And I was sure I don't want to watch Sakon and Tayuya making-out. "If it doesn't bother you?"

* * *

I guess it didn't bother, not much at least. I mean he just shrugged and I followed him, neither of us said anything. In the main hall he stopped to chat with some people I didn't know. I just followed him like a shadow, paying only a little attention on anyone else but him. I was starting to feel like a hopeless teenage girl, not to mention I already knew it was happening sooner or later. It was much quieter outside because of chilly air. Almost everyone preferred staying indoors, partying hard. No kidding, I didn't.

"It must be boring", Suigetsu said suddenly, breaking the silence. I glanced at him, surprised.

"…What?"

He made a small pout, probably thinking that I hadn't paid any attention on him. "To be asked to come a party where we don't actually even make a night of it. It's kinda… stupid."

"It's not", I replied. "I don't even like to party. Not that way at least. It's nothing like me. I prefer it this way."

There was a moment of silence. Suigetsu looked at me, frowning. I thought he had noticed that I had been staring at him.

"I don't want to talk about it", he spat.

"About what?" I asked.

"About that whole mental hospital thing. And you want ask about it."

"No, I don't", I said quickly, lying of course. I was curious about it but I didn't want to push, at all to be honest. It seemed to be a touchy subject.

"It's in your eyes", Suigetsu noted. I turned around to hide my blush. He had looked at my eyes, my mind squealed.

"Well, you don't have to tell", I mumbled, hiding as well as I could my sudden burst of happiness. _Goddammit, why did this turn to that?!_ Another moment of an awkward silence.

"I didn't cut my wrists, if you ever suspected of that", Suigetsu mumbled finally.

I blinked. "I thought you didn't want to talk about it."

"I just said."

"I never suspected."

"Good."

"Good."

Suigetsu frowned, seeming very annoyed. "Argh, whatever. I'll tell", he groaned. I gave him a smile, and he began explaining his past. "My elder brother was a member in gang called 'Seven Swordsmen of the Mist'", he told with a slight grin curling his lips. "They didn't actually have swords, just different kinds of knives. They did all kinds of bad things, like cutting tires and making graffiti and sometimes even breaking windows. Nothing very serious or dangerous, though. I had always wanted to join them."

I couldn't help but smile even wider. His voice was full of happiness and I could have listened to him for hours but his tone changed soon after. "But the gang broke up when couple of its founders got arrested", he sighed and drank the rest of his drink. "Including my brother."

I tilted my head. "What happened next?" I asked.

"Well, I decided to set the gang up for its second generation since I never get to join the original one", Suigetsu explained. "It went kinda smoothly until I started to want some more challenge so I emptied the tires of a car in front of the police station."

My eyes widened. What kind of person does that?! Oh, right. Suigetsu laughed at my face. I probably looked like I had just fallen from a tree.

"So I got caught and I accidentally cut two polices during the time they followed me, and I kinda redecorated the police car with a knife I had hidden into my shoe", he continued when I had got over the shock. He grinned abashedly. "I kinda ended up in the luna-house after I did all that and failed all my mental tests which they had made to look like an interview 'cause I was trying to be sarcastic. That was pretty much my story."

I was quiet for a moment. I felt a little now that I knew him a little better. He could trust me enough to tell about his past. It made me feel… more important to him. I wanted our friendship to last. I wanted to be a friend he could tell anything.

"Thank you", I said with a voice not louder than a whisper. "Thank you for trusting me." He heard what I said and gave me one of those sweet, feral grins.

"Thanks for listening and not criticizing me", he said. "I mean, everybody makes mistakes. Some just make many of them, like me."

"Whenever", I said and gulped. "Whenever you want to talk, I'm always here to listen."

Suigetsu grinned. "I keep that on mind, Sai."

I blushed slightly but the darkness covered it well. He was my friend, my dear friend, but I couldn't do anything but fell in love with him over and over again.


End file.
